Because You Are Awesome

Mar. 5, 2010

why do i have four nipples

Because you evolved from pigs, unlike the rest of us. Luckily, it means you taste delicious.

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Because Bacon Is Awesome

Jan. 7, 2010

why does the internet love bacon

Because it’s salty! *rimshot* No, seriously, it’s because @DennysGrandSlam controls the internet.

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Sadly, This Is A Real Thing

Jan. 7, 2010

why is there bacon in the soap

It’s for parents who only want to be 50% cruel to their foul-mouthed kids.

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The Future Should Be Sooner

Dec. 28, 2009

can you imagine a world with hover bacon

I dream about it every night on my buttermilk pancake bed.

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